Timing
by harmicnes
Summary: In which Harry and Hermione realize that love each other but just can't seem to get the timing right [one shot]


One would think that through everything they've been through, they would've learned to get the timing right. Love they said, was the most powerful emotion of all, so both learned rather quickly just who they'd felt that particular emotion towards.

They realized that they loved each other at the same time. It was when, after weeks of worrying and watching over her as she slept in that blasted hospital wing, he saw her, running to him as he poked at his breakfast. It was instantaneous. That instant feeling of joy and happiness that was somehow missing when his bushy-haired best friend was unwillingly taken out of his life. And it was when she wrapped her arms around him tightly, her voice filled with pride telling him that 'he did it!' that they both realized. But they were much too young then, barely at the ages of 12.

He'd never known love for or from anyone, and she'd never known what any love besides parental love was. But they'd heard about it of course, and so at that moment, they both realized they loved each other, maybe not the type where they would spend the rest of their life together with many children, but more of the love where they knew they'd do anything for each other.

And so their love for each other grew as they tackled adversity together, situations where they could've easily lost the other. They'd never said it out loud, they'd never had to, it was always there unspoken but seen oh-so clear to anyone watching. Anyone would know that they loved each other, some fantasizing believing that this was what true love would blossom from, and some just watching fondly the friendship they shared, so strong and resilient.

It wasn't until they got older that people began to realize that the love they shared simply was not platonic. It was in the way she cared about him above all others, or the way that she was the only one who could get him to open up on a bad day. So everyone around them realized it long before them, for two very bright people, they really were oblivious when it came to the matters of the heart.

But she realized it much too early. She realized it at the ripe age of 15 that this love that she'd felt for her best friend was no longer platonic. But she was oh-so young, and there were so many reasons why they wouldn't have worked. She was rather brilliant after all, she knew how life could be. So she realized it too early, much too early, as at the time he was still barely able to tell familial love from platonic love.

So she kept in secret, suddenly becoming so very aware of what people saw when they looked at them. But still she was an intelligent young woman, she knew that unrequited love could ruin even the best friendships leaving them in tatters. And so her acting had become better than ever. It wasn't too hard, her actions towards him were always always rather affectionate. But it was difficult. watching him pine after girls that weren't right for him. She wasn't being biased, she didn't think she was perfect for him, but she knew that he needed someone who understood him, someone who would never leave him, someone who loved him despite everything that would come across them.

The young woman whose heart was still in pieces from having her love ripped so brutally from her wasn't that person, she was much too broken to be able to provide so much into a stable relationship. She was correct about that, it hadn't worked, because while he and Cho were alike, there wasn't enough that they could give.

The redhead came after. The beautiful, gorgeous redhead that she'd come to see as her own sister. By the time she'd realized how he felt about the red head, her hope for him ever reciprocating her feelings had dwindled to a minimum. She was rather logical, she knew how this would end, so she tried, oh-so hard to fall in love with the Weasley that already admired her so much.

That was the year that everything they knew had become rather rocky. She was trying hard, because in the end, she did have feelings, and like everyone else, she didn't want to be hurt. So she tried so hard, sometimes a little too much, to convince others, and herself that who she was in love with was the goofy redhead that she never got along great with.

And she was bitter. She was so very bitter, because she didn't know why her love wasn't enough for him. Because she'd never been particularly pretty in her lifetime, but she'd hoped that maybe someone she'd learned to love would learn to love her back, despite the way she lacked in the department of looks. So she was bitter, and it showed. He'd seen the difference, despite how oblivious he was to everything else. He'd seen how she treated him differently, and he didn't know what had changed. She no longer trusted and believed in him like she had before and knowing that, a piece of him ached.

But he realized much too late. He'd always loved her, he knew that for sure. But as the years went by, he'd labeled it as sisterly love, because he knew that love for a sister had to consist of what he'd felt for her, care and overwhelming sense of protection. He was able to fool himself with that notion, that she was the sister the he'd never had, just like Ron was the brother he'd never had. But then suddenly everything he knew changed because she was always the constant in his life, she'd always believed in him, no matter how stupid he may have seemed, she never let go of that belief.

Until, she did. She was always so angry with him that year. She'd turned down all his ideas as stupid and was so utterly annoyed with him at times that he hadn't known what he'd done wrong. He was so afraid then, that he'd lost the one person he thought would never turn her back on him. That was the start of it, how he'd finally realized. It took so much longer than it took her. He started to realize in little bits, how the sound of her cry gave him a feeling of being punched in the gut, or the way he worried for her because he knew that anybody he loved and loved him was in danger, and she was right at the top of that list.

But despite how oblivious he was, he did eventually realize. But when he did, he was much too late. It was too late, because by the time he'd realized that he loved as anything but a sister, she lost all hope entirely of him ever reciprocating her feelings. Because by that time, she'd finally accepted that she could learn to have feelings for the redhead, she was always so logical, and she knew that in the end, you don't end up marrying the person you love most in your life.

He realized it when he watched her lips touch his, because he wanted it to be him instead in that position, with her lips on his. So right at that moment, he knew he was too late, just like everything else in his life. He was too late in getting rid of that blasted rat, he was too late and couldn't save the one person who he thought he'd finally had a family with, he was too late in saving the house elf that had slowly grown on him these past years, and he was too late in realizing that he indeed did love her in the way everyone else thought.

So knowing that, it made giving up his life so much easier, because he knew that his two best friends could find love in each other, and he wouldn't have to get in the way of that. But his plan hadn't quite worked and by miracle he'd managed to make it out of the alive. So he saw their relationship blossom, and as much he wanted to reveal what he felt, he knew that already took too much from his redheaded best friend, and he couldn't never repay her for everything she'd done and for everything she gave up for him. So he watched them, and was happy despite the ache of his heart, because she was happy and they were good to each other.

Even when the redheaded girl from his past, from before the war, approached him, asking for maybe a second try at their romance, he said yes, because he realized that he loved another much too late, and there wasn't anything to be done about it without hurting far too many people.

It was bittersweet for her when she found that he was going to try again with the redhead, because she somehow knew that this was how it was going to be and she'd learned to accept that despite the dull ache in her chest. Because she realized it too early, it gave her too much time to think, because when she thought, and tried to find the most logical way, and logic almost never came without hurting her.

So by then they both realized that they loved each other, not in the platonic way they thought when they were twelve. But rather romantically, liked they'd realized at the ages of 15 and 17. But there was so much unspoken and so much kept secret that they chose to keep their lives the way they were, never uttering a word about their feelings, hiding them deep down. They grew up thinking that in the end, the person who you romantically loved would be the one who you would marry and have children with, but they found out the hard way, that it wasn't always like that.

And they both wished that maybe they just realized it at different times, that maybe if they did, their lives would have turned out differently. But she was always so in tune with reality and he was always so oblivious.

So despite all they've been through, they still never got the timing right, because she realized too early and he realized too late.

 _fin._


End file.
